Finally
Allowing
It
To
Happen
What is happening? Healing.
Healing is beautifully raw. Healing is also beautifully messy. Much like the face of a toddler at mealtimes. Messy, but still shining. That is what it feels like often. One day I am breathing and in the moment moving through my day. The next I am trudging through it feeling like I have weighted boots on in a soggy marsh. The common thread being movement. I am engaged in my life and believe in my capacity to heal.
Even the inner fog at it's thickest is still moving. The subtle shift is happening from within. There is support around, and tools that I am extremely grateful for, but the healing is happening because I am committed to it and engaged in the process. There is no one that can fix me, nor can I fix myself. Because to fix something, it would require it to be broken. I am not broken. I don't need to be perfect because I am perfectly imperfect. I am not bad for being how I am, however that is. I just am. I am. I am. I am.
I also don't need to figure it all out or even know why, or what or what's next. I can simply let what is, be how it is. And trust the process. I can lean into it and be curious. And breathe. Breathe a lot. When I see side stepping, back stepping, cross stepping, stepping away, I can gently bring myself back to what is and to my intention. I can hold my hand and guide myself back, like one would a toddler on a walk.
Such simple stuff and so challenging at times. But no matter what I read or what system I look at it's basically the same thing.
Breathe.
Be gentle with oneself.
Forgive and release.
Be with what is.
Come back to this moment.
Love and gratitude.
And remember always, that the light shines brightly even on cloudy days.
"What is your prognosis? Are you cured?" As I heard someone say recently (but can't remember the exact quote or who said it), don't expect a good answer when you ask a stupid question. Heck if I know the answer. All that exists really is this moment. For that sentence I have immense gratitude. Living in the now with loving acceptance (even if I have to bring myself back sixty times a minute) is something to be infinitely grateful for.
Allowing
It
To
Happen
What is happening? Healing.
Healing is beautifully raw. Healing is also beautifully messy. Much like the face of a toddler at mealtimes. Messy, but still shining. That is what it feels like often. One day I am breathing and in the moment moving through my day. The next I am trudging through it feeling like I have weighted boots on in a soggy marsh. The common thread being movement. I am engaged in my life and believe in my capacity to heal.
Even the inner fog at it's thickest is still moving. The subtle shift is happening from within. There is support around, and tools that I am extremely grateful for, but the healing is happening because I am committed to it and engaged in the process. There is no one that can fix me, nor can I fix myself. Because to fix something, it would require it to be broken. I am not broken. I don't need to be perfect because I am perfectly imperfect. I am not bad for being how I am, however that is. I just am. I am. I am. I am.
I also don't need to figure it all out or even know why, or what or what's next. I can simply let what is, be how it is. And trust the process. I can lean into it and be curious. And breathe. Breathe a lot. When I see side stepping, back stepping, cross stepping, stepping away, I can gently bring myself back to what is and to my intention. I can hold my hand and guide myself back, like one would a toddler on a walk.
Such simple stuff and so challenging at times. But no matter what I read or what system I look at it's basically the same thing.
Breathe.
Be gentle with oneself.
Forgive and release.
Be with what is.
Come back to this moment.
Love and gratitude.
And remember always, that the light shines brightly even on cloudy days.
"What is your prognosis? Are you cured?" As I heard someone say recently (but can't remember the exact quote or who said it), don't expect a good answer when you ask a stupid question. Heck if I know the answer. All that exists really is this moment. For that sentence I have immense gratitude. Living in the now with loving acceptance (even if I have to bring myself back sixty times a minute) is something to be infinitely grateful for.
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