It's the middle of September. What year? Where did 2014 go? It seems like the last time I blinked it was 2013. After ending the very popular "Ticked Off" blog, I started this blog a year ago. It was to be a fresh start on my healing and my writing. One year, two hospitalizations and countless outpatient treatments, one post, 8 drafts later, I will attempt to write again.
I say, "attempt," because being able to capture my thoughts in the written word is very difficult. To admit that is a huge step. I think I have been waiting for it to get easier. There has been improvement, but it is far from easy. For example, I already have the urge to abandon this post. I will chose not to.
Writing used to be so joyful for me. It came easy. I was good at it. It was an outlet, a release and a way to organize my thoughts. My brain has been through so much (Lyme, Autoimmune Encephalitis/CNS Vasculitis). There seems to be no activity in which I use it that is really enjoyable. Reading, thinking, writing, and even conversing are all quite hard. But just like when rehabilitating a limb after an injury, not using it because it hurts just isn't an option.
So, I decided I will just make myself write a little each day. It may not make much sense or turn out the way I want it to, but I will just do it. I will do it because I want my brain to heal. I want writing/thinking/proof-reading to be easy and joyful again.
I know healing is happening. It is just not linear and much slower than is comfortable.
I say, "attempt," because being able to capture my thoughts in the written word is very difficult. To admit that is a huge step. I think I have been waiting for it to get easier. There has been improvement, but it is far from easy. For example, I already have the urge to abandon this post. I will chose not to.
Writing used to be so joyful for me. It came easy. I was good at it. It was an outlet, a release and a way to organize my thoughts. My brain has been through so much (Lyme, Autoimmune Encephalitis/CNS Vasculitis). There seems to be no activity in which I use it that is really enjoyable. Reading, thinking, writing, and even conversing are all quite hard. But just like when rehabilitating a limb after an injury, not using it because it hurts just isn't an option.
So, I decided I will just make myself write a little each day. It may not make much sense or turn out the way I want it to, but I will just do it. I will do it because I want my brain to heal. I want writing/thinking/proof-reading to be easy and joyful again.
I know healing is happening. It is just not linear and much slower than is comfortable.
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